What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
