Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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