Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize