office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
They should really pass out barf bags in church
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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