I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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