Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
