she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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