The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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