so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
why is half of my head shaved?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
