To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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