Ambien. No doubt about it.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
