I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
