is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize