My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
