Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
