i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
