420 ftw
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
