You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
