u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
