Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
