Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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