I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
