im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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