The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
im holly from the hills drunk
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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