i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
