you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
