Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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