you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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