rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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