whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
