At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
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