Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
