Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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