HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize