we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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