like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
