going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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