I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
