its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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