I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
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