Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
