Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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