got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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