i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
