Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Randomize