is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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