woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
