Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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