She announced her abortion via fbk
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
