you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Semen is not good for contacts.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
