they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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