Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
