hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
