All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
