I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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