I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
