I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
